Back in June, I was invited to answer a survey about what blogging means to me, and was told that my answer would be posted in someone else’s blog. Curious, I checked out the person’s blog and read the following disclaimer which is posted at the bottom of each page in the blog (I’ve replaced the blog name with xxx but you can find it easily enough by Googling for certain phrases in the following, if you really must know):
By filing a post to xxxx, you grant publisher of this blog perpetual rights to use, publish, and otherwise exercise all copyright with respect to the post at its sole discretion, including publishing in a book form.
xxxx also reserves the right to select, edit and arrange submissions, and to remove the posts from this blog at any time at its sole discretion.
Whoa. I politely declined. My interpretation of the above: the person could edit my post however she/he liked, publish it in a book without permission or compensation, repost my content without a byline, etc. Not that they would, of course, but I’d be granting that permission if they so chose.
But that’s not the focus of this post.
Early this morning, the same person sent out a mailing to over 400 people (with all our e-mail addresses displayed in the TO: field), asking that we all send in updates about why we blog because, after all, our blogging motives might have changed since June. Most of these people are like me, I suspect; we never answered this person’s original survey (so there’s nothing to update).
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Some people are already starting to reply to the WHOLE LIST, demanding to be taken off the list or telling everyone else not to reply to the whole list.
AUGH.
I’ve written privately to the sender asking to be taken off the list and am also going to try to filter these e-mails to a separate mailbox. Grr.
A Tip: If you’re thinking of sending an e-mail out more than 5-10 people, think very VERY hard about whether or not you should be putting their e-mail addresses in the TO: field or BCC: fields, even if they’re all friends. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I already get way too much e-mail and the last thing I need is mail from someone responding to a list of 20+ people saying something, “Ha! Good point!” or “Take me off your list!” or “LOL!”
And while I’m on an e-mail etiquette rant, let me add the following pleas:
Make the subject header meaningful. Instead of “hi” put something like “question about copyright” to give the recipient an idea of what the message is about.
Don’t waste the recipient’s time. Write your e-mail carefully, don’t ramble (unless it’s a personal e-mail to a good friend who likes your rambling), get to the point. Include all relevant information; try to anticipate what the other person will ask next. Don’t be lazy. If you tend to write succinctly, however, also be aware that you may come across as being more serious/angry than you intend. This is where “emoticons” (smiley faces, etc.) come in handy, but use them sparingly. I try to use them only in casual (non-work) e-mails, and only with people who also use them.
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Include enough of the original message to provide a context. It drives me nuts when I get an e-mail message that says something like “Sure, this sounds good!” without any hint about the original conversation thread. Yes, if this was the only e-mail conversation I’ve had that day I’d likely remember the context, but I usually have more; I had 34 exchanges yesterday, for example, and I know many people have far more. And what if it’s a conversation from last week? Or last month?
Some people don’t like having the conversation repeated but I’d rather have too much context than too little (in private e-mail, not a message board post) because it saves extra e-mails (e.g. “What sounded good? Could you remind me?”); the most recent reply should be kept at the top, so the reader doesn’t have to scroll down. Better yet, repeat ONLY the bits of conversation that are relevant, and include your reply directly below each bit.
Also, don’t forget to say “please” and “thank you” when appropriate. Sounds obvious, I know, but I’ve run into way too many people who are polite in person but think that it’s ok to overlook common courtesy in e-mail.
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If someone doesn’t reply to your e-mail, don’t assume they are ignoring you on purpose. Your e-mail may have gotten accidentally filed away or deleted with spam. Your mail server or theirs may have had problems. They may be so overwhelmed with e-mail that they haven’t had a chance to reply. They may have simply forgotten. They may be away on vacation. My advice: send a polite follow-up e-mail asking you’re just checking if they’ve received the e-mail that you sent on (include date), and include the e-mail again.
I recently got a very rude and angry e-mail from a woman who accused me of ignoring her e-mail about certain Writersmarket.com listings that needed to be updated. In order to get my e-mail address, she had to go to this page which repeatedly begs people NOT to send me Writersmarket.com listing questions/updates. I did reply to her as well as forwarding her request; I did this out of courtesy, not obligation. She never received my reply and decided to blast me instead. She finally apologized after I forwarded her the entire correspondence.
Never, ever post or e-mail in anger unless you are very sure that you won’t regret it.
David Harris has some excellent e-mail etiquette tips, well-written and comprehensive. Please do read his article. Feel free to encourage others to read it as well but if you’re planning to send out your e-mail to lots of people, don’t forget to use the BCC: field!
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
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Amen to this! People seem to forget anything related to etiquette the moment their browser or email program opens.
ESPECIALLY when mailing multiple people; I almost always use BCC. I feel wrong sharing someone’s email address with other people (even if I know they know each other in some medium or another – I have no way of knowing they’ve shared that personal contact info). That’s akin to giving out someone’s phone number without asking permission.
The only time I use CC: is at work, when I want the TO: recipient to know that someone else is in on the information.
I’m bad. I did the “To:” thing last week. In my defence I hadn’t quite realised how the program I was using would respond to the list I’d set up, but as soon as I’d hit “send”, I realised what I’d done.
Why don’t I ever realise *before* I hit “send”?
Does my guilt help to absolve me?
Hoorah!!! Well said.
I’d add: Think about what you put in an email – once you’ve hit send you cant control where it will be forwarded to.
Even within a business framework, I would suggest watching who you cc to. I call it ccitis – a new business disease! It’s the wish to cc an email to a vast list of people who are only tangentially interested, if that, in what the email is about. The excuse is always “just for your information” or “just to make you aware of it”. What it actually does is to erode your confidence in any emails from the sender, such that when they finally send you a cc on one that actually is relevant to you, you tend to ignore it. I have an personal rule that I’ll never cc to more than four people unless the circumstances absolutely demand it. The more you target, the more attention your target pays you…or something like that!
My pet peeve is that most of us should realize email is not as reliable as the phone, and in sticky situations (when possible) talk, don’t type.
If it’s really important, time sensitive or might cause a misunderstanding, think about picking up the phone and calling.
And one other “rule” I follow. Never email something you are not willing to say in person.
Great article! When sending to more than ONE person I will usually put my own email in the To and BCC everyone else. As others have mentioned … it is not right to give out others email address without their permission.
I recently received a similar mailing — one I had no interest in — which was sent to a long list of people all in the “to” line. One of the reasons I stopped participating in discussion groups that don’t offer a digest option is I was tired of getting nine thousand emails from people saying “LOL” and “me, too” even though they were fully aware that their messages went to everyone on the friggen list. It’s seriously annoying when someone does it as spam, and that’s what I’d consider that sort of thing. In summary, I feel your pain. Good rant.
Thanks for this post! It really irks me when people send me jokes, feel-good stories, and e-mails that say that I must forward them or something bad will happen to me. These e-mails have been forwarded so many times that hundreds of people’s e-mail addresses are listed in the “to” box. I have politely told people before that I would not like to receive these e-mails, but I still get them. If I have a funny joke or nice story, I may send it to a few friends, but I don’t feel the need to subject everyone in my contact list to it. People should think, “will this e-mail interest this person” before they send something. I agree 100% with what you said.
Oh, I have a nightmare story about this.
Every year, a freshman ends up mass-emailing the entire campus. It happens, usually with one or two reply-alls, an email from the tech department reminding us not to mass e-mail, and everyone’s happy.
Not this year. There were over 30 reply-alls in one evening, and no one ever deleted the previous messages, so the entire directory of 2500+ students, faculty, and administration was copied four or five times in an email. Our email system was pretty much unusable for the rest of the night. It was completely ridiculous.