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Debbie Ridpath Ohi reads, writes and illustrates for young people. Every once in a while she shares new art, writing and reading resources; subscribe below. Browse the archives here.

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Monday
Oct042010

Finding More Time To Write, Quickie Tip: Learn How To Say NO

Though I've gotten better over the years, I still struggle with this one word. Seems (at first, at least) much easier to say yes. I'm talking about the small favors that people ask you to do, the ones that you're sure will only take a few minutes of your time. The most insidious: the favors that you know would be fun to do, or the ones that are almost work-related.

Be wary of saying yes to too many of these. Inevitably, they'll add up until WHOA, suddenly you find yourself spending more time on these quickie favors for other people than you are on your own work.

Stay focused on your goals. Prioritize.

Learn how to say no politely but firmly without feeling guilty.

To clarify (because I'm already anticipating at least one person piping up and righteously saying that she's GLAD to want to say yes to those asking for help): I'm not saying you should ALWAYS say no...just be selective and be realistic. And be able to say no when you need to.

Reader Comments (5)

Now I AM feeling guilty Debbie ;-))

October 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHazel Mitchell

Such a great post and you are so right. Boundaries are definitely needed if you are going to get any work done. Even if it means saying no to the fun stuff sometimes.

October 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterD.L. King

Oh god did I ever need to read this ... thanks.

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlinda

I learned very early on to say NO!
My Mechanic would never fall for it. "I love how you lube, would you be interested in changing my transmission for free????":)

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristine Tripp

So true! I'm usually too quick to volunteer for just about anything that needs getting done. At one meeting I finally sat a friend on either side and told that they should punch me or hold me down if I raised my hand to get involved with yet another project.

One of the teachings from this is no doubt about ego. Am I really the only person who can do something? And if I am committed to too many projects can I really do the best at any of them?

The CRITTER Project and Naked Without a Pen

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLemur

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